It’s a common problem and it can be very irritating. Sometimes it can be a form of amusement, others tragedy and terror. It’s known to the academics amongst us as alopecia androgenetica and no, it’s not a new species of African Bullfrog. Nor is it the undiscovered Geldof sister they keep chained in the basement, sustained by the odd Baby Ruth bar.
It is in fact Male Pattern Baldness. Bruce Willis, Ross Kemp, Terry Nutkins and Gail Porter are all men who suffer with it.
If you, like me, are a sufferer then do not worry. If there’s more hair on Kojak’s lollipop than on your head then do not despair. I am here to help.
After some careful research on the topic I came across a theory that should help exorcise the demons that haunt the dreams of any slap head. It seems that Frank Muscarella and Michael R. Cunningham, from the University of Louisville, Kentucky, have studied the Ethology and Sociobiology of the matter with surprising results.
They suggest that “baldness evolved in males through sexual selection as an enhanced signal of aging and social maturity, whereby aggression and risk-taking decrease and nurturing behaviours increase. This may have conveyed a male with enhanced social status but reduced physical threat, which could enhance ability to secure reproductive partners and raise offspring to adulthood.” Continue reading “The Male Genetic Curse”