Hidden Homoereoticism: Top 5 Unintentionally Gay Movie Scenes

We all know there are plenty of gay films out there (Brokeback Mountain, My Own Private Idaho, Rocky V) but it seems there are some that are still in the closet. I was watching Wall Street last night and I was quite disturbed to see a few homoerotic scenes between Bud Fox and Gordon Gecko and this got me wondering how many films have such unintentional(?) gay undertones.

After a (rather disturbing) bit of research here are the top five unintentionally homoerotic scenes in film in order of gayness: Continue reading “Hidden Homoereoticism: Top 5 Unintentionally Gay Movie Scenes”

The Governator

On January 2rd 2011 our favourite plum mouthed action hero left his office as Governor of California after nearly eight years of bum slapping and slagging Boris Johnson. Many of us film buffs have wondered what was next for Arnie. Another Terminator film, a Twins sequel with amorphous monkey face Danny deVito or some hopeless comedy clone of the like of Junior?

Well true to his word he is back and it’s none of the above…..for Arnold Schwarzenneger is….. Continue reading “The Governator”

Super Mario Begins

This years South by Southwest festival brought about a cultural revelation. It featured the debut of a Joe Nicolosi directed and produced short that takes Super Mario to a whole new level.

Recreating this well known story as an Indie flick was an inspiration and has led to this hilarious short film. Nicolosi has done for Mario what Christopher Nolan did for Batman. Continue reading “Super Mario Begins”

Empire of the Son

The new issue of my favourite magazine dropped through the door yesterday. I have been a faithful subscriber to Empire for years and look forward to it’s arrival. Not having time to read it right away I threw it in my bag and off to work I went. At some point during my shift I decided to drop the kids off at the pool so I lifted the magazine and off I went to see porcelain Pete. Thank God I was sitting there when I opened the magazine because I would definitely have shit myself for there it was, at … Continue reading Empire of the Son

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Nerd Do Very Well

While sitting watching my favourite programme last night I was given some shocking news. It takes a lot to distract me from the fantastic ‘Wonders of the Universe’ on BBC HD but this was hard to ignore. Apparently Professor Brian Cox is a hottie.

Now Professor Cox is a legend. He has brought Physics to the masses by making it accessible without dumbing it down but I couldn’t believe my ears when I heard that women all over the country were tuning in for other reasons than learning about the cosmos.

This got me thinking about the nature of attraction and celebrity. Does fame allow for sexual prowess not seen in everyday folk? Let’s take a look at some other celebs that have become the most unlikely of sex symbols: Continue reading “Nerd Do Very Well”

For All Intensive Purposes

I could feel my body instantly tense from the immediate and unmistakable revulsion. That body blow feeling in the stomach usually followed by the clenching of teeth. It was the sort of anger that takes control of all your actions urging the onslaught of ultra-violence. I knew the end of the sentence before it’s time had come.

IT’S TOO COLD TO SNOW Continue reading “For All Intensive Purposes”

‘Take Me Out’…The Back…And Shoot Me…In The Head

As I sat, watching the screen, I found myself wondering how we came to this. As a society I mean. Now we all know that the Saturday Night TV Schedule is full of soul destroying shite to keep middle aged women occupied while the kids are out having the fun they wish they were having. One of the more recent additions to the line up is ‘Take me out’.

It is very difficult to describe the format of the show. It is as if Paddy McGuinness had dug up and raped the bloated corpse of Blind Date leaving behind the post mortem abortion that is this show. A show where a lonely male weirdo is paraded in front of 30 whooping and gyrating women who he has to impress into a date. Watching this initial part of the process makes me think that this is what it must have been like for any Christian unlucky enough to piss of the Romans. Continue reading “‘Take Me Out’…The Back…And Shoot Me…In The Head”

Event Horizon

So, I have a confession to make. I was sitting watching the TV, minding my own business, when it hit. One of those moments when you catch yourself doing something and it causes you to re-evaluate your standing in the world, your choices in life, and your progression through the grand maze of existence. I put a tissue up my sleeve.

Now this might not sound like much to some but the repercussions of such an action hit me like a thunderbolt. It brought back memories of my Gran pulling a tissue from her sleeve like some sort of snotty magician, lick it and wipe my grubby child face with it. Years after I noticed my own mother constantly having that concealed weapon look with a tissue up each sleeve ever ready for that critical moment when a sneeze attacks. It is an action as synonymous with old people as not knowing when you’ve farted or pissing yourself.

Now I was going to try and make excuses about the fact that the trousers I was wearing at the time didn’t have pockets but that just makes it worse. I’m actually starting to think the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtle pyjama bottoms my girlfriend got me for Christmas may not be as cool as I think they are. But then the Ghostbusters ones are definitely cool, aren’t they? Continue reading “Event Horizon”