I’ve heard it uttered in many different situations and in a similar amount of variations, so I finally hunted out (googled) the origins of the actual phrase. According to Bartleby.com the actual quote is as follows… ‘Vasectomy is a simple routine procedure. The surgeon makes a small incision in the scrotal sac, through which he severs the cock eggs from their clacker strings. All this is carried out under a local anaesthetic.’ (Family Planning Leaflet, The Marie Stopes Foundation).
Only joking, that’s a Viz comic piece. I hit ‘paste’ and that’s what came up. I actually refer to the quote ‘The degree of civilization in a society can be judged by entering its prisons.’ allegedly by Feodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky, who I only know from the hit series, The Office. Continue reading “Child Killers and The Right to Life by Junior Johnson”
A few days ago I blogged about the upcoming Anchorman Porn Parody. Well it seems there are many more out there, all with trailers.
It seems nothing is sacred anymore as there are dirty parodies of The Flintstones, the Simpsons, Star Trek and many more.
So, without further ado, I give you a selection of trailers for these random Pornographic Piss Takes.
Continue reading “Porn Parodies Galore”
So, here we are at the end of all things. The world is going to end tomorrow…apparently. That is, according to Christian Radio Broadcaster Harold Camping who has got his wee calculator and his bible out, done some Stephen Hawing style maths and discovered that the day of the rapture is 21/05/2011.
I hand you over to www.lifeslittlemysteries.com to explain the unexplainable: Continue reading “Rapture This”
As if these guys don’t look enough like rejects from a porno flick it seems that some bright spark in the Jazz Film Industry has decided enough time has passed for a parody…a porn parody! Principal photography for Anchorman XXX has begun and one of the stars has posted some pics on twitter.
Brick will no doubt love more than lamp, Ron won’t just play with his Jazz Flute and I dread to think what Veronica Corningstone will have to do to make the newsdesk in this one. Let’s just hope Baxter doesn’t make an appearance.
Don’t worry folks, they’re nudity free but funny as hell… Continue reading “Anchorman Porn Parody in the Works”
On Friday 6th May 2011 I hit the big 30. The biggest difficulty in this was deciding what to do in order to mark such an occasion and I think, on originality alone, I should win an award. I went to see the Legend that is Roy Walker do stand up in an upside down purple cow.
Ok, I know this sounds like I sat at home, dropped some acid and blogged about the consequences but this did indeed take place. I’m sure you’ve seen the purple ‘Udderbelly’ cow on E4. Well for 12 weeks, at the Southbank centre in London, the cow in question has set up residence Continue reading “Roy Walker at the Udderbelly Festival”
So, it’s nearly here. The day I have been dreading. Tomorrow morning I will awaken, no longer in my twenties. I will be 30 years old.
It’s a terrifying age to be. All prior landmark birthdays are cause to celebrate because we spend so many years wishing to be older and now I reach the first where I wish I was young. At least when you hit 40 you should be well prepared for Death’s cold hand reaching for your shoulder for that really is the end of all things (see blog ten years from now for info).
Anyway, I have spent my day looking for reasons turning 30 is a good thing and I can find very little apart from unencouraging shite such as ‘you are an adult’ and ‘you can start living now’. Thanks, here’s me thinking I was a dead child. Continue reading “It’s My Party And I’ll Throw Faeces If I Want To”
As a follow up to my previous article on Spider-man in Belfast I have decided, due to popular demand, to post Captain Planet’s adventures in Belfast also. Aren’t we a popular city, eh? Awesome accents as usual. Continue reading Captain Planet In Belfast
I have never really been a comic person. As I kid I read Buster and the Beano. When a little older I tried X-Men and if I’m honest found it hard going. I got into Marvel in the late 80s through the now legendary cartoons. It started with Spider-man and his Amazing Friends. You know the one where Spider-man, Firestar and Ice-man lived together in an apartment that turned into some sort of command centre. I loved that, when all the furniture changed into all those 80s style computers when the big fire monster attacked the city. Also, Firestar was Hot (pardon the pun). Continue reading “Spider-man Takes on the IRA”
I hate wearing glasses, it sucks. It’s not just the fact you have two walk around with two lb of glass and metal attached to your face but once in a while you have to make your way to an opticians and get your eyes tested. It’s a shitty experience only made worse by the sizeable bill at the end. Even the buy one get one free deal doesn’t make it any more palatable.
The other day I made a trip to specsavers after putting it off for about 2 years. I could spend a few hundred words telling you what happened but my Facebook status updates tell it so well. The growing strop started in Specsavers and went on right up until I got home, here’s what happened: Continue reading “Optical Illusion”
I love ’80s movies, they’re just awesome. Ghostbusters, Aliens, Ferris Bueller’s Day off, Weekend at Bernie’s, Back to the Future, Goonies and many many more.
However there is one strange feature of 80s movies that has often left me rather confused and perplexed. The necessary hottie in so many of these films is inevitably a munter. Even the female popstars of the day look like rejects from Labyrinth. Here are a few examples: Continue reading “The Ugly 80s”