For All Intensive Purposes

I could feel my body instantly tense from the immediate and unmistakable revulsion. That body blow feeling in the stomach usually followed by the clenching of teeth. It was the sort of anger that takes control of all your actions urging the onslaught of ultra-violence. I knew the end of the sentence before it’s time had come.

IT’S TOO COLD TO SNOW

I’m sure you have all heard this little gem usually uttered by the old and the moronic. It is a phrase which burns through to my very soul. When I hear it I find a chain reaction begins causing the sudden debilitation of the Brain-Mouth conduit which usually results in something like the following:

BRAIN – Gentle person, please remove yourself from the vicinity for I fear I will be forced to reprimand you for your behaviour. Your assertion is indeed incorrect as it snows in many areas much colder than our temperate climate.

MOUTH – Away and take yer face for a shite, ya daft cunt. Sure it snows at the North Pole and it’s cold as fuck!

Not my finest moment but I cannot be held responsible for my actions. There are many of these sayings that are either frustratingly inaccurate or people just get them completely wrong. Here are a few others that really grind my gears:

Cheap at half the price. No dickstick, the phrase is “cheap at twice the price”.

For all intensive purposes.

One in the same.

Nip it in the butt.

I could care less. Damn yanks.

Damp Squid.

Last but not least, one that I heard the other say – That went down like a house on fire! Seriously, WTF!?!

Utter any of these and you will put me in a position where I will be forced to cut your face so please, think before you speak.

Are there any more misquoted or incorrect sayings that wind you up?

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7 thoughts on “For All Intensive Purposes

  1. Actually, I think “cheap at half the price” is more a dig at something being ridiculously overpriced, rather than getting the other phrase wrong. 🙂

  2. I hate the phrase ‘at the end of the day’ and i perk up and hate them every time I hear it.

    Supposably. A yank creation but used instead of supposedly.

    Ah christ I wish I had alzheimers.

  3. Tell me about it. I vote for a return to a feral world where if someone pisses you off you can just kill them and eat them…and wear their skin…and dance around! Feckin hell, I’m back on that again!!

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