3DTV – A Terryfying Glimpse of the Future?

Once again I find myself with a fairly new Television set that is almost obsolete. No sooner are most people up to date with High Definition Televisions than the so-called ‘next generation’ of TV’s are here and this time they’re 3D.

When I splashed out on a new TV it was advertised as ‘future proof’ and I stupidly believed that spending a decent amount of money on it would keep me up to date for years to come. I was wrong.

When 3D first started becoming popular at the cinema I was sceptical. Distant memories of Jaws 3D or the shockingly bad Freddy’s Dead resurfaced and helped me to avoid the new fad at the local cinema expecting it to go the way of smell-o-vision. However, it wasn’t until eventually agreeing to see Avatar in 3D with friends that I found out, to my surprise, that 3D technology had moved on. The intensity and sheer impact of the 3D was spectacular and certainly sold me on the idea.

While I can understand that the use of 3D will not enhance the cinematic classics, it is perfect for the usual mindless summer blockbuster. If it makes those huge explosions look more intense and engaging then why the hell not?

Now it seems 3D is destined for our living rooms and personally I’m not sure if I could think of anything worse. While it is an entertaining novelty for a night out at the cinema I wonder how many families are going to be sitting at home, each person wearing glasses that leave them looking like a loyalist circa 1974.

I also wonder if anyone would actually want to watch Deal or No Deal in 3D. I think not. In fact anyone who relishes the idea of Noel Edmund’s beard protruding into their living room is clearly an evolutionary hindrance to the entire human race.

Soaps in 3D would probably increase suicide rates. Total Wipeout could cause whiplash. Don’t even get me started on the perils of Eurotrash repeats in 3D. It just seems to me like a step too far in the quest for the pinnacle of home entertainment.

My advice would be to avoid 3DTV at all costs. If you’re still not convinced to give it a miss then think about this – How long will it be before we are faced with the horrific image of the orange faced abomination that is Julian Simmons in High Definition AND 3D? Surely a prospect likely to send anyone to that well known hiding place behind the sofa.

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